Freed From Fear

Introduction And Background

This is an experience which actually happened in my life.  I would like to tell it to whoever would like to read it or listen to it, because I believe that this experience may be quite useful for those who hear it.

I was born in a small village, far from the city, in North Sumatra in 1950.  When I was about one year old, my family moved to Bandung and it was in this city that I grew up.  I never once thought that I would experience difficulty in life.

A Threatened Life

When I was still in elementary school, I heard about life after death and about heaven and hell.  I was quite bothered thinking about hell, which was a place of great torment which lasted forever.  I was never satisfied and could never stop thinking about life after death.  On the other hand, I didn’t think about heaven much because I didn’t think it was too important compared with a place like hell.

It got to the place where I felt thatranimals were more fortunate than me.  They were under no threat of going to hell, whereas I experienced that possibility.  The bigger the issue go, the more it bothered me.  Nearly every night, I had difficulty sleeping because I continually thought about the afterlife, which was so terrifying.

My teacher and almost all adults who I met, taught the same thing, that if a person did good things, he would go to heaven.  But they also taught that we must not steal, we must not lie, we must not oppose or disobey our parents or teachers, we must not hate or fight other people, as well as many other things that we should not do.  I seemed to always fail iii doing all this.

Unexpected News

One day while in high school in Bandung, a visitor came.  We stopped class to hear his speech.  I didn’t pay attention to who it was and I don’t even remember his face, but he definitely talked about spiritual things.

I don’t remember anything of what he said and I didn’t,pay any attention at all until he finished speaking.  After he finished, there was someone who sang.  I didn’t pay any attention to what he sang either.  I was only impressed by their efforts, because they kept trying even though we didn’t pay attention.  We weren’t. interested.

When it was time to close the program, the visitor spoke.  I was stopped short by what he said: “Whoever wants to receive Jesus, please stand up’.  At that moment, I became afraid and suddenly the following verse came to mind: ‘Whoever is ashamed to confess Me, I will also be ashamed to confess him at the time I return’.  I knew these were the words of Jesus, but when and how I got them, I don’t know.

I had heard of Jesus, that He had the power to heal the blind man, to raise the dead to life, to command the storm to become calm, had walked on water on a lake, and a lot of other things about Him as well, but I didn’t know how that all was related to the salvation of my soul, which I always felt was in danger of going to hell.  I was very afraid of being rejected.

I felt that this was the last chance.  If I failed, what I feared would happen would actually take place.  Being in this situation actually caused some embarrassment in my heart due to what my friends would think if Istood up.  I was afraid of being called a religious freak, even though I should have been happy to have been called that.

I was also embarrassed for them to know that I was afraid of going to hell.  For them, that was just something to laugh at, whereas for me it was actually something which stressed my soul nearly every night when I was lying in bed ready to sleep.  So I struggled to push down the embarrassment that I felt.  The destiny of my soul was not something to play around with.

My knees shook as I stood.  I heard my friends snickering.  A person from the group of visitors came to me and explained that if I believed and wanted to follow Jesus, I would be accepted as a child of God.  I then prayed and personally accepted Jesus Christ.  This took place in the middle of 1969.

It was not easy for me to understand that my sin had already been forgiven and that I had, been fully accepted by God.  I still felt like a sinner and the fear which I had before was still there, although not as heavy as before.  Because of this, I tried to study my Bible more in depth.

I had already heard and then read for myself that all people have sinned and the result of sin is that we are separated form the presence of God by an eternal punishment. But because God is love, He came into this world as man, lived amidst the human race to teach righteous living and then gave His life as an atoning sacrifice for the sin of the human race and on the third day after His death, He came to life again.

A Difficult Trial Which Became A Good Experience

Satan continued to try to make me doubt my salvation.  I felt that my sin was different and that I was not forgiven.

One day, August 21, 1970, 1 was involved in a very bad accident.  Both my eyes were blinded by a chemical explosion in a bottle.  About 15 shards of glass went into my eyes.  The next day, my left eye was removed by the doctor because it was beyond recovery.  According to the doctor, my right eye also had a very small chance, but he did not remove it.  I began to live in the dark.  My life had suddenly, been separated from the outside world.  I couldn’t see anything.

The greatest trial for me was that I was tempted to think that I had actually been rejected by God.  When the accident happened, I was quite taken by surprise.  My ears rang continuously, everything became dark, and my face and eyes were in incredible pain.  I thought I was going to die.

I prayed.  My soul cried for help from the Lord.  I didn’t shout and ask for help from another person because I was aware at that time that it was God who I needed most.  I really don’t know how I had the strength to remember a verse from the Bible: “Surrender all your worries to the Lord, because He cares for you’.

I was challenged at that time to believe in Jesus who had the authority to raise the dead to life and to heal the blind.  God Himself gave me the strength to believe that I would be healed again and would see although only with my right eye.

From The I Was Blind Until I Could See Again

I was blind for two and a half years.  During that time, I meditated on the love and greatness of God.  I believed that God would heal me.  I decided to give my life for the glory of God.  I would tell other people about the love of God, especially His love to come into the world to redeem the sins of mankind.  I used my time to listen to the Word of God using a tape recorder or radio.

Then I studied Braille writing and began to read the Bible in Braille.  Over those two and a half years, my eye was operated on twice at the Cicendo Eye Hospital in Bandung and two more times at the Mangunkusumo Hospital in Jakarta.  In January 1973, my eye gradually was able to see again.  I continued high school and in 1975, 1 began to study at the Bandung Technological Institute.  During that time, I continued to tell of the love and power of God.  I don’t  want to stop telling it because it is the most important thing for each person.

Thinking About Life

How about you?  Do you believe that all people have sinned and lived under the threat of judgement?  You can receive love and help from God, who came to earth as the man, Jesus Christ.  If you would like to know more, I am ready to help.  You can contact me directly via whatsapp.